I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
