oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
