Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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