Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
