Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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