Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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