My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
