Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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