Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
