i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
