OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
