So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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