Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
