What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
