I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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