I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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