The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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