I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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