and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
