marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize