Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
