What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Barsexuality is the new black.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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