ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
