you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
