So drunk, too bad you don't want this
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
