Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
