Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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