Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
