Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
