i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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