I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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