WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
