Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
