wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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