Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
