:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want nice things and good sex
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
