Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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