My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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