imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
