YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
