At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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