i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
