you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
