I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
