So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
