I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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