Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
