Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
