Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
