im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
