i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
