its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
