It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
