Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
