Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
